You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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