I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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