if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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