Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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