please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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