I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize