Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize