8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize