I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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