I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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