if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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