I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize