you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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