Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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