im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
COCAINE IS GR8
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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