sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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