oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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