I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize