I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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