the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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