The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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