Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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