i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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