Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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