Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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