She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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