Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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