I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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