Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize