the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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