I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You are the jesus of drinking
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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