When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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