even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
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I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
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I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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