When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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