I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize