you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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