This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
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You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize