I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize