I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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