So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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