I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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