On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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