Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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