No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize