Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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