ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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