dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize