the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize