Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize