Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize