ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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